Reply to When my DW has an AP and denies it, should I just take the kids and go?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "When my DW has an AP and denies it, should I just take the kids and go?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dump her.  See how much time she was for a "connection" while trying work out joint custody and meeting APs.[/quote]

Agreed.  The concern is the impact of the DW not trading her motherly duties for an AP.  Oranges to apples.  Just on what OP has stated, it seems the DW has lost all control for being a wife and mother, and placed some crazy idea that actually she is “falling in love” with the fantasy (in her own mind) about the other person.  The DW is falling for the image of the other person they’ve created in their own mind. The AP is simply a made-up image—someone, they imagine, who will meet their every need.  Probably DW has needed external validation and praise, and an AP is complying.  When OP separates and divorces from his DW, she will have an awaking of "HOLY S**T" because her initial encounters with an AP can become intoxicated by the feeling she gets with each new encounter.  However, that will ultimately pass and the AP will live her.  Seen it many times and the DW really did love the non-cheating spouse.  [/quote]

It seems the DW needed an extra marital affair to be “in control” over someone desiring or wanting them sexually/romantically to help her feelings of worth, importance, belonging, and emotional safety.  It is a copout by the DW to avoid working through these issues and emotions in the marriage.  Marriage is difficult and when a spouses works and has kids, it is crucial that couples communicate.  Sorry but your DW should seek therapy because she will be destructive before and after you divorce.  I will pray that things work out.     [/quote]

Just out of curiosity OP, did you and your DW talk about going to marital counseling?  I know that the extra marital affair is probably still going but do you guys communicate.  There is something off with the DW based on all the threads that I have read that make it seem that she is longing for your attention.  Just an observation. [/quote]

Same exact thing happened to me as OP.  exDW went back to work after taking some time off for children, I was starting a new job and busy (always was home at 6 but got online from 9-midnight to work) and yeah, things were hectic but with new jobs and little kids, it usually is and it's temporary.  ExDW saw it differently and developed a connection with an AP and went for it.  Over a year of counseling/reconciling, she kept going back to AP and professing her love for him and finally I had enough and filed for divorce.  She definitely had an "oh sh1t" moment but by that time it was too late.  She ended up staying with AP.  She cited the lack of passion while things were incredibly busy and wanted me to be someone I was not.  Wash, rinse, repeat.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics