Reply to Please be honest - do you ever feel jealous of mothers who have more money?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No. I know too many kids who are being raised by nannies and it’s not pretty.[/quote]

You can be a rich SAHM with a nanny just to give a hand.  That is what I would love!! [/quote]

I am a rich SAHM with a trust-fund from my biological maternal grandmother, and I outsource as much as I can (except childcare) for three households - ours, ILs and parents. ILs and parents live close to us and we want them to be able to spend quality family time with us, take care of their health and not be stressed about doing routine stuff in their homes.  We have put in place a cleaning service, yard maintenance, handyman, cooking/prep person, yoga instructor and a masseuse for our parents.  They are pretty healthy and active people, financially stable, fiscally responsible,  who are retired and maybe do not need all the help that we give them now, but, we want to make sure that we have thought through everything that can make their lives easier and healthier so that they spend more time with us and our kids.   I think services that buys you more time with your family is a great use of money.  For our income, we are pretty average materially (homes, cars, clothes). Our money is spent on less visible things like - organic food, vacations, hobbies, staffing.  In another 10-15 years, if we see the need we will also hire a part-time chauffeur/attendant for them. [/quote]

This is confusing. Your grandmother left you a trust fund with enough to take care of three households but didn't leave your mother, her daughter, anything? Hence the need for you to supply her lawn care service and masseuse? [/quote]

Mom was initially cut off by my grandmother for marrying my dad. They eventually made up when I was born.  The trust fund was created for two of her grandchildren (my cousin and I) but none of her children. The money grew thanks to the power of compounding and also I got the money when I was  32 years old. My own DH is a high earner so financially we are set even without my money.

Parents and ILs are financially doing ok and are retired. They do not think that they need lawn care  or cleaning woman or other service staff.  They are happy to do these things by themselves but I can see that these things wear them out sometimes. I am sure they are capable of paying for help, but when we do these things for them, we are also able to keep an eye on their health and the state of their house/living condition.   I began by scheduling their lawn care by the same company that was doing our lawn care. It was easier to manage it logistically for me. Later on I used the same cleaning lady who works for me to also clean their homes.  There was a bit of resistance at first but I usually gave these services to them as part of our Christmas gift to them.  Same goes for their home maintainence, or adding security features to their homes. Whatever  we get done for our house, we get it done for them too.  This allows me to keep an eye on both set of parents and make sure that they are being looked after. The chef and masseuse was something DH wanted to put in place for both of them for health reasons and they did agree to try them out for 6 months at least. We think it is money well spent that we can take care of these things for our parents.  If it buys them more leisure time to spend on their health, on their family ies, on their hobbies then it is a win for everyone.  I think in some ways it is a psychological benefit too, because the families are connected and looking after each other.   [/quote]

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