Reply to Husband made plans without me Thanksgiving morning

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Was he supposed to help with dinner?  If so, tell him you still need that.  In my house my DH would not be helping much, maybe at the last minute.  He would get in the way more than anything so if I agreed to host, whether it be my people or his people, both of our expectations would be that I’m preparing it.  If he wasn’t supposed to help, why did you need a consultation?  Also, yes, him expecting a consultation on every little thing is ridiculous too.  Both of you sound needlessly controlling to me.[/quote]

OP here. We have done this for 10+ years. Probably 12. We do an activity together which changes based on where we live or what the weather will be. But always out together/with the kid, and then home to prep the meal with me doing most, but yes, he has in the past done quite a bit of chopping, peeling, etc. I'm not sure why you are assuming he never helped. I don't see how that's controlling for me to be consulted when he takes himself out of that equation and also leaves me on a holiday we always start the day with together?

I mean, hell, at this point, message received.[/quote]
I did not assume he didn’t help.  I told you that if he normally helps, tell him you still need his help.  I do think you are reading way more into him choosing to golf the. Is necessary.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t wanted or valued or whatever else you are thinking.  He’s just thinking of it as a day off with a big dinner,  no big deal (in his mind).  Just tell him what you want and see what he says. Ask him to golf over the weekend instead.  It really sounds like you are blowing it out of proportion when it doesn’t need to be that. Remind him you guys have a tradition and ask him nicely to keep it going.[/quote]

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