Reply to when (if) to tell kids about their IVF conception?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a medical issue, and there’s zero social/emotional fallout due to adoption, surrogacy or donated sperm/eggs, so I’m not sure why you’re withholding information.  I would be clear that it was a combination of issues for both mom and dad, and that the likelihood is that they may have a few issues, but it’s also possible that they wouldn’t have any issues, so be very, very careful.  I don’t think you need to go into the mechanics, but letting them know that you tried for 18 months before going through IVF?  That's something they might like to hear, that they were that wanted.

[b]By the way, am I the only one very shocked that these kids don’t all know already about reproduction?!  We’re not talking about 4yo, these are 8yo and 12yo[/b].[/quote]

OP here.  Where did I say they don't have knowledge?  Did you even read my post?  :roll:   It makes me crazy how people on DCUM jump on any opportunity to put others down, even if it's due to their own poor reading comprehension.

My 12 year olds know about sex.  We've told them and they've had quite detailed sex education instruction at school.  My 8 year old knows less.  She knows what we've told her but she has not had the formal instruction at school (which went into detail for multiple hours). 
And no, we didn't tell our kids (when we taught them about sex at age 8) that they were conceived by IVF.  They had no interest, we did not tell them.   In teaching them about sex we didn't didn't personalize sex or the role of sex in their conception AT ALL.  No: "did you know?  daddy and I have sex"  No: "you weren't actually conceived through sex but through a lab after having sex didn't work for us". 
They were 8.  We talked about the mechanics, etc.  We did not personalize it.  
Again, it's interesting to me that the opinions about this vary SO greatly.

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