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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm an adult adoptee.  I had a good childhood and am reasonably well adjusted.  I reconnected with my birth family in my 30s and they are a big part of my life now too--just a wonderful bonus.  My birth mother was a teenager and would have done anything to keep me but did not have means or support.  She went on to become an great mom to my younger bio sibs but carried with her tremendous pain until this day.  It has complicated my feelings about adoption.  One line I read that I thought was very apt for many birth mothers, adoption is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.  Maybe young mothers aren't "forced" into adoption today, but great care should be taken not to participate in an adoption where but for money, the parent would keep and raise their baby.  Its kind of messed up. [/quote]

This. This. THIS. I'm also adopted and I love my adoptive family very much. Pretty well adjusted too. Also found my birthmother as an adult and came to understand how deeply she loves me and how much she wanted to raise me. She would have done so if she'd had even the tiniest amount of support. What was done to her was cruel and inhumane and it caused permanent damage that cannot be fixed.

So, while I will always support adoption in instances where the birth parents genuinely do not want to parent or they are dead, abusive, or otherwise permanently incapable, I also agree that great care needs to be taken to ensure that money/support isn't a factor in the decision to relinquish.  [/quote]

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