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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

To clarify, our kids are 2 and 5. One is in elementary school. I work as a consultant and started doing this last year as we both agreed that working a regular full time job will not be possible for me precisely because he works so much. We make a fair amount of money. Our daughter is in private school, which requires the volunteer work.

My career is built on work overseas and with this administration, there has been a significant cut in the international affairs market, several non profits have had to reign in expenses and lay off staff. My added struggle is that  when I see a job that matches my background, it requires significant travel and/or long hours , which again would require more than just getting a Nanny. He makes a decent amount and that is also because he has a high demand job with a lot of hours. I worked in non profit so it was apparent early on, in addition to the anger issues, that I handle most of the child care taking. It was not what I anticipated. I actually thought he would be helping but instead I got an angry man lurking in the background and exploding when I couldn’t get the baby to stop crying. It was awful, but he did get better when she was around two and a half and out of diapers. That was also around the first time I left him alone with her.

The medical problems he has are beyond anxiety and I rather not write here what they are but they did require significant treatment that would not allow us to have kids later. Right or wrong our second is here.

I left my career because I was able to telework that first year I came back but afterwards, my main project was ramping up and my boss requested that I stop telecommuting and also, with my project ramping up, I would have to travel overseas often. Again, I thought it would be possible but not after he started with his anger issues after we had the baby. Our Moms both had already come when I had trips overseas to help with the baby but my big project requires 2-3 weeks away. I could see that something was going to give so before failing on the job and getting fired, we agreed I resign, take a break, and try to find something that is more family friendly.

We live near a metro stop and about 55 minutes of a ride into downtown DC. It makes it difficult to get back in time to pick up the girls in time. I’ve looked where we live but not successful. The work in my field is in DC. I’ve tried of other random jobs, and even with a pay cut, haven’t had much luck, since my background doesn’t match well or I have had this pause in my career.

Thanks to all for your feedback. I truly appreciate it. Even the hurtful posts are eye opening. I asked how others manage and appreciate the detailed responses. You have lit a fire under me and believe me, I miss throwing on a suit, I miss running meetings, I miss guiding junior staff, and most importantly, I miss the feeling of making a positive difference in the world.

Lastly, got it. Making my personal plan to prepare. Hoping for the best, though expecting the worst.   Thanks again to each of you![/quote]

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