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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My dad had an affair for about a year before my mother found out. I was 9-10 at the time. She told me. Not only did she tell me, she wanted to make the decision whether she should stay or leave him. Ultimately, she did the exact opposite of what I decided.

It screwed me up.

A child doesn’t need to know the specifics of the divorce or the affair. Period.[/quote]

+1000. My ex cheated. The kids were about 11 and 7 at the time.  They are adults now.  They have no idea that their dad cheated and left us.  They just know their parents were divorced.  I will never tell them.  I've wanted to many times.  But I would never do it.  They don't deserve to be pulled into that mess. [/quote]

You don't actually know if they know.

They may know and just are hiding it from you to save your feelings. [/quote]

this. the kids ALWAYS know. You think families don't gossip??[/quote]

I don't believe they know.  I'm not sure how they could.  But if for some reason they do know, they also know that their dad and I cared enough about them to try to shield them from the ugliness of infedelity.  If they asked me directly, I would answer honestly. But they never have. And they are mid and late 20s. [/quote]

Agree.  I did not find about my father’s affair until I was in my 40s....  and I am glad my mother did not tell me when I was a child.  Children don’t need to know the particulars of their parents relationship nor do they care.[/quote]

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