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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] our kids' friends (ranging in age from 8 to 12) [/quote]
OP what stood out for me from your post was not the pickiness but the fact that these kids were so up front about it.

By age 8-12, shouldn't kids start to know when to state their food preferences and when to keep their mouths shut?  And if they are really hungry and there's nothing they can even stomach, when and how to politely ask for something different?  And the difference between close friends you can be more open with, and families you just met?

I think that many cultures do better than the US does with adult-child relationships and how we talk to each other.  Europe is one but I can think of others.  [/quote]

I completely agree with this.  By age 8, the child could have politely said "no thank you" when offered the oven fries, carried her dirty dishes to the sink and thanked the hostess for the meal.

Don't judge the kids based off one meal.  At home, my kids eat a balanced diet.  They are hungrier for dinner than for lunch, and we are more likely to serve well prepared, buttered/salted roasted vegetables at dinner than at lunch (they aren't big fans of baby carrots, sliced cucumber or other raw veggies like you would normally serve then).  I also deliberately withhold snacks before dinner which gets them hungrier.  So what you may be seeing mid day at a play date meal, when kids are distracted by their friends and have probably been snacking isn't necessarily a reflection of their regular daily menu or of even what they eat as a whole that day, which may be more nutritionally balanced.[/quote]

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