Reply to About to present divorce papers to long-time serial cheating spouse that doesn’t know spouse knows..

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Reply to "About to present divorce papers to long-time serial cheating spouse that doesn’t know spouse knows.."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Here's what they should do. If they're only in their 20s and this is a multiple cheater situation, this isn't ever going to get better. So, your friend should talk to a lawyer on the appropriate steps, serve the papers (possibly right before the trip -- the idea of distance is good, but if the spouse who will need to pay child support and be able to be a functioning parent after this is all over is likely to lose their job, then I'd wait) and then be determined to be the best coparent they can be going forward. Don't use kids as weapons or hostages and yes, it's going to hurt for a while -- friend will need to "fake it until they make it".

Do not drag anyone else's spouse into it. It is never because "the other spouse needs to know and I'm doing it for them". It's for revenge. Keep your own house in order and let other people deal with their own stuff. [/quote]

You are really ignorant about the continued damage it does not to tell. It just makes things worse for the other betrayed spouse. It is easier to recover from an affair the sooner it is discovered and ended. The longer t goes on, the worse it gets.[/quote]

It is not your obligation to be the police of someone else's marriage.  And as we can see, people don't the email from the other spouse and thinks they're nuts. I didn't give two effs about the spouse of the other person when I found out. I don't blame them, but there was no feeling of "sisterly solidarity" going on. I dealt with my own train wreck.[/quote]

People in affairs are like cockroaches. They don't being exposed to the light of day. So exposing the affair might be their best chance at having the affair end. But you are right - it is better to have evidence to show them rather than letting their cheating spouse paint you as crazy.

My sister's ex cheated on her with a married woman. Her husband discovered the affair 6 months before my sister finally did. She is resentful to this day that he didn't let her know what was going on. But the time she figured it out, her DH and his AP were hitting their one year anniversary.

It's not "sisterly solidarity" - it's spousal survival. It's not about dealing with your own train wreck - it's about stopping more trains from derailing. [/quote]

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