Reply to Breadwinner wants out of the rat race

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It sounds like your main concern is the drop in income and lifestyle adjustments that will need to happen.  Understandable, but that's not really fair to the person who is burdened with maintaining that.  I think you need to be as supportive as possible of what your DH wants to do about his career, and find a way as a couple to make that happen for him - just as you'd want him to support your career choices.  Sit down together and go over the budget to figure out how things will look, and discuss your concerns with him.  But at the end of the day, you really need to trust that he'll make the decision that's best for everyone.  Otherwise there's going to be a lot of resentment between you two.

I also don't think you can expect him to handle it the same way you would if you were the one who had stayed in BigLaw.  And like you said, you really DON'T know how you'd be feeling at this point in your career had you stayed, so that line of thinking is totally irrelevant.

If you are really concerned about the money, go back to a firm or get a higher paying job yourself.  [/quote]

OP here. Thank you for some actual advice. These are helpful suggestions. As I hope was clear in my post, I do want to support him and do want him to be less stressed and happier. [b]I'm just trying to figure out how to re-jigger the way we save because I want to be prudent about college savings, retirement, etc. and admittedly it was a lot easier to do that with a sky-high HHI.[/b]

I'll ignore the other trolls.[/quote]

This is demonstrably not true.  Your initial post *was* clear - it just doesn't say what you now claim it says.  In your OP, the questions you asked were "But what do you do when your breadwinner wants to cut your HHI by 60-70%? How do I navigate this with him?" Not "How do a revise our financial plan? how do we go about retirement savings with a reduced income?"  You went on and on about how he was going back on the "bargain" and how, if your roles were reversed, *you* would have "toughed it out," and then asked how do you deal with *him*?  Not your finances - him.

And now that your are getting pushback, people who are calling you out are trolls, and you just wanted to know what to cut from the budget.  You are full of crap, OP.  It's clear from your post that you are disgruntled about the potential changes to your lifestyle, and want him to continue in biglaw.  All the pablum about "wanting to support him" was just you reciting how you *should* feel, rather than how you actually feel.

And for the record, how you actually feel is pretty damn selfish.  [/quote]

Who are you to judge the op? This is a mean post. 
[/quote]

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