Reply to How do you know a man will be violent?

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't know how you know outside of the obvious signs. I had a boyfriend shove me once, and up until that time he was the most amiable guy.

It was our first serious argument, and things quickly became highly charged. We were both extremely emotionally immature but I don't handle emotional immaturity by lashing out physically. BF wasn't controlling in any way- he was a little child, sweet as could be, but lashed out like a child.

I do agree that there are some people who just have it in them and a gut might tell you that- I went on a date with a guy who had a distinctly predatory vibe- I sensed it, but ignored the obvious signs (rushing me through dinner, a lack of interest in conversation, possessive mannerisms, etc.).  I made the mistake of letting him into my apartment, where he became sexually aggressive and I'm fortunate I wasn't raped. 
That experience wasn't my fault, of course, but it was one where I chose to dismiss my discomfort with someone rather than listening to it. [/quote]

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