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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You prefer the sister in law who is really intonmake up. That says a lot about the both of you. How shallow can you be?[/quote]

No - she prefers the social sister, who doesn't turn down 90% of invitations.  That is important to the discussion.  You can't turn down most invites, and then be mad that people are are nurturing a relationship are closer.  Life doesn't work that way.[/quote]

It is important to nurture relationships but that goes both ways. Maybe the invitations were all to do things SIL2 doesn't like, and maybe they invite her knowing she won't go, and don't ever bother doing anything that she does enjoy.  I have two SIL's that are very similar to this, and they prefer each other's company in a really blatant way and buy each other gifts and shower attention on each other like this - to the point of exclusion and mean girl bullying.  I've tried to get to know them and go out with them, but I don't like shopping for makeup, clothes, etc.  I've tried inviting them to do other things we can all enjoy and they refuse 100%.  If it's not what they prefer they have no interest - even if it is just siting around the table, they have to control the conversation and talk about things they like. They expect me to make all the compromises. And they publicly mock me for what is just a difference in personality.  They really are the self-centered ones and I feel for SIL2. I suspect there's a lot of similar behavior going on in OP's situation and it is miserable and childish. OP, learn to appreciate your SIL for who she is. She may be different, but try to find things you all can do together. The entire family will be happier for a little compassion.  In my case, I don't talk to my brothers or SILs anymore because I can't accept that BS behavior, so consider that outcome if you continue on this path.

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