Reply to How do you not feel guilty when spouse is working and you're not?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That’s easy! What’s more important for your kids… quality time or money?  Having a stay-at-home parent gives your kids a stable, healthy, home environment. I can’t quote any studies or statistics because I’m being too lazy to hunt for them, but I’m pretty sure if you did look it up they would show that households that commit to having a stay-at-home parent tend to raise kids that are a bit more self-confident and more emotionally stable than parents that both work and have the kids with a baby sitter or day care. [/quote]

Err... that's actually false.

https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/kids-of-working-moms-grow-into-happy-adults

In 2015, preliminary results of a groundbreaking study found that the daughters of employed mothers often perform better in their eventual careers than the daughters of stay-at-home moms.

Now the full study has been released, and it brings even more good news for the children of working moms: They wind up just as happy in adulthood as the children of moms who stayed home.

Adult daughters whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to work themselves, hold more supervisory responsibilities, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time.

Sons may be influenced by their working mothers, the study suggests. They spend an extra 50 minutes each week caring for family members.

Sons are influenced in other ways when their moms work. The sons of employed mothers hold significantly more egalitarian gender attitudes—even more so than the daughters of stay-at-home moms.

Both sons and daughters of employed mothers have significantly more education than children of mothers who are not employed.[/quote]

I mean...is the goal post to have working daughters though? I stayed home with my children when they were young and I cannot in a million years imagine missing that time. I hope they will get to experience it as well - that time is fleeting and you can never get it back. And it means more to me than my (v successful) career ever will [/quote]

Exactly.

I did not get to stay home as much as I would have liked.

But if I ever win the lottery, one of my first priorities would be that my children can stay home for ateast the first 3 years of my grandchildren's lives if they want to. And I am pretty sure that they would want to If they do not, I would gladly stay home with my grandchildren if they will let me.

It is so baffling that people consider their kids the number one priorities, but fail to see how it is important to others that one parent stay at home when these kids are young and impressionable(or even when they are older because teenagers are still very impressionable).

I would stay home in a heartbeat if we had some extra money. There is just a minimum income that would make sense in my family (because there are certain things that I grew up with that I consider important for my children to have access to), and one salary will not cut it.

I would not want my husband to work longer hours(40-45 hours is his average) because he has a very close relationship with them, just as and even better that I had with my father, and I think this is just as important as my relationship with them. And he would absolutely hate working longer hours.

But if we had the money today. I will be home. No guilty whatsoever.

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