Reply to Rude to ask if someone is a boy or a girl?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]With an adult, I would ask them what pronoun they prefer.  That's a perfectly appropriate question--you should call people what they like to be called, so if you're not sure, ask them what they would like to be called.

If your son was better friends with this kid, then it would probably be okay to ask the kid about his/her gender presentation.  [b]But since he doesn't know this kid well, asking "Are you a boy or a girl" is a bit rude. [/b] [/quote]

Agree, because asking like that implies that the kid isn't "doing it right".

Most of the camps my kids attend have pretty specific inclusiveness policies. If my kid was asking these questions I would probably email the director and just say "Larlo is wondering if Sam identifies as a boy or a girl so he can refer to him/her in the appropriate way. Are you able to answer this question?" I would expect them to be able to handle this question thoughtfully and according to the wishes of the parents, even if it meant they just replied, "sorry, we don't discuss individual campers for privacy reasons."[/quote]

[b]You would ask if a child "identifies" as a boy or girl? Are you kidding me?[/b][/quote]

PP here. No, I'm quite serious. I'm assuming that you don't understand the difference between gender identity and sexual preference?

I live in North Carolina, by the way. My 9 year old has a transgender classmate at his religious school. They sent an email alerting families to the name change and the gender identification switch. The kids think it is no big deal, and I've never heard it mentioned among the parents. What an ignorant bunch you are.[/quote]

People think it is "rare" until they encounter it themselves. My son had a friend who was a boy or girl, depending on the day, starting at age 5 and asked to be called by a "girl" name. Now at 8 s/he's a "girl", styles hair, etc. but goes by the original "boy" name given at birth. The parents finally put their foot down and said the name flip-flopping was too much and too confusing -- for them, for classmates, teachers, etc. At some point, the kid will either make a full change or not, but for now he dresses like a "she" but goes by "he". It is still confusing especially when meeting new people, but it is what it is. Kids don't care so much about the boy/girl thing, but will ask questions pretty openly and though they may be confused by the responses -- it sounds like no one has ever harassed the kid. We are on the West coast, so perhaps more common or open here than it was when living in DC...there I only knew a few adults, not kids, making a switch.[/quote]

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