Reply to Elderly father destroying family harmony & his legacy in pursuit of inheritance

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My father is 78 and his brother is 79, almost 80.

It is impossible to stay out of it because my father tells everyone that the money is for his children. He writes pages long emails to the entire family about how he hopes we will use the money.

For context, each of my siblings would receive about $3,000 before taxes. It isn’t a fortune. Maybe we could go on a nice cruise? However, we would lose out on our uncle and cousins at holidays, weddings, and other special events like religious milestones. Everyone would know the reason for the rift. I feel ashamed even thinking about it. I was not raised to think money was more important than family. [/quote]

So it makes you happier to kiss @$$ to your money-stealing uncle (steal from grandma, and now steal from your dad) on holidays, weddings and religious milestones than to have your money-stealing uncle do the right thing and divide up grandma's final assets correctly instead of keeping them for themselves.

What culture or country or religion are your from?

This reminds me of my Turkish cousin in Ankara. Fat, divorced uncle #2 lived with grandma in order to get free maid service and meals from her nurse. He also bought my cousin a Mercedes with grandma's money! He spent her money on whatever he personally wanted like no tomorrow. Then she died. 
Everyone looked at the finances and saw all these holes, from uncle #2 siphoning off money to himself. They all argued - passionately, they are Turkish! - for a couple months. Cousins were told to write emails to uncle #2 about needing the money for vacation, for weddings, for kids. Uncle #2 eventually agreed to subtract some of the siphoned off monies from his third. Cousin still kept the $60k Mercedes, a vehicle 4x the price of mine here in America.

Flash fw one year - everyone was happily summering together, mooching off each others seaside houses like usual.

Flash Fw 3 years - Uncle #2 very unhealthy as he has no grandma nurse to do everything for him. He forced himself to move in to his adult son's house after that son, my cousin, just got married. Looks like hell on earth.  Everyone went to the wedding, everyone got past the uncle #2 antics in less than a year, plus he did the right thing and appropriated the money back.

Families get nuts at funerals and true colors and games really show. OP, your father is right, and your uncle is trying to drive him crazy by not responding or doing the right thing. Uncle needs to give the money back to the rightful owners. Yes, your father should cool it with the long emails, but your uncle is purposefully not being responsive or available. It's all a big game of chicken. I hope your father can get a pro bono lawyer or previous atty to open the estate will process back up. That said, your uncle's behaviors are 100x worse than your father being backed into a corner now. [/quote]

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