Reply to DCUM- you're my only hope. Well...no but here I am anyway.

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Reply to "DCUM- you're my only hope. Well...no but here I am anyway."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to be more specific about what you need and express that. You are hoping he will read your mind. I’m assuming you are not REALLY suicidal - if you are, please seek immediate help - your vague complaints seem quite dramatic for someone whose worst offense is that he works a lot.

Right now all I’m reading is that you have a lot of contempt for a self-described loving guy. Is it his work hours or is it the fact that he doesn’t seem want to spend time with you? Because I don’t know that a change in his work hours is going to translate to him spending more time with you. Are you disconnected sexually? Emotionally? There has to be a reason why you are on such different pages. [/quote]

OP here. again.

Honestly: It's both. When he has a day off, he goes and plays golf or takes the kids away so that I can work.

Yeah. Nope. This isn't going to work is it. Like at all.[/quote]

Again, you are not taking any responsibility here and telling him what you need. Jumping to telling him that you want a divorce or you are going to kill your self clearly is not getting your point across. Yes, you want him to quit his dream job. That is the entire point of your post. It sounds like you don’t really want to make any sacrifices either, so I’d think about what you can bring to the table to repair a relationship that is obviously broken. He probably thinks he is being helpful taking the kids on his day off, or trying to work around your schedule. Tell him exactly what you need and want from him. [/quote]

OP here:

I have told him that I juggle a lot to do my job and pick up his slack for his new job. This is not something new. He sees me at work at 4am doing my job and then he sees me at 8 am with the kids. There is no ambiguity here: he isn't a child. He just... thinks this is normal. That we all have to do stuff to make our lives work.

He does think he's being helpful. But I've told him that his job sucks. The hours he works sucks. Now he has told me that I should work at the office and he'll get a babysitter so that we can both go to work and that it will be the solution. But there is nothing in the equation of him actually wanting to spend time with me. I purchased concert tickets and he ends up bailing on us for work. I've made weekend vacation plans and two weeks before, there's something he needs to deal with at work.

I know you think I'm not being clear: but it's not that. It's that he's not registering what is actually going on because he has the perfect life otherwise.[/quote]

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