Reply to My ILs want to throw me a party with their friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I've also married into a South Asian family that would totally pull this on me. At first I tried to be accommodating but it just got worse and worse and worse.

For those who haven't been in this situation, it feels like you're being displayed as a lamb for butchering. It's absolutely horrible. It's very much an opportunity for the in laws to "show off" OP and their children.

First, decide how much you can take before it's totally miserable (one or two other couples?) and then have your DH express that to them. CLEARLY AND FIRMLY.[/quote]

South Asian here and this is typical of someone from that culture. In that they do things in the name of the “family” without any consideration of what DIL/SIL may want or be comfortable with. And they tend to double down when it comes to “American” (white) IL’s because they know you will be more tolerant. [/quote]

But keep telling OP that this is a kind and considerate thing for the in-laws to be doing, ignoring us, who actually have BTDT. [/quote]

Oh brother.  What "butchering?"  OP has been married for 9 years and if this is the first time it has come up, the ILs have shown great restraint.  I am South Asian. We don't do this type of things (family of complete introverts).  However, my husband's white Catholic once threw a similar party for me.  It was fine.  Really.   Let the grandparents show off the grandkids and her.  It's for a couple hours.  Some of you really have issues.[/quote]

Your husband's family invited a slew of young people, who are not their own friends, to hang out with you? [/quote]

Their age and DH's age.[/quote]

So ultimately it was their own party, with it falling on their own shoulders, to engage with their own friends. [/quote]

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