Reply to My ILs want to throw me a party with their friends

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm not sure this is as much a "cultural difference" thing as it is a "your personal preference" thing.  Which is okay but let's call it for what it is.  I'm saying that because my family is Mid-West Catholic also, and we definitely had a lot of large welcome and farewell parties thrown for us when we visited my grandparents growing up.

My father was senior government and we never lived in our "home" city where our parents were born but we visited a lot.  Usually every summer or every other summer my parents would send us children to our grandparents home city in the Mid-West.  Sometimes my mother would accompany us, sometimes not.  We would be there for an extended visit of 4-6-8 weeks.

While we were there both sets of Mid-West Catholic grandparents would throw large formal parties for us.  They would invite family members, fellow volunteers, clients, business community members, the Mayor or other City Council people, Rotary, the Kiwanas and the Knights, everyone they could think of.  The grandparents actually coordinated it:  one year one set had the welcome party and the other had the farewell, and then the following visit it was vice versa.  And both sets of grandparents would have the city paper (large city that you will have heard of) send a reporter and photographer to document the event, and our photo with a blurb would be in the society or announcements section of the paper.  FWIW, we were not the only families in that section of the paper doing the same thing.  It was and still is a "thing" to do.

I think that you go, suck it up and attend the party.  They want to do it.  It won't harm you or your children and your kids may have fun!  Most importantly you will be modeling for your children how to do something you don't want to do but you do it because it pleases the people you love and who love you.[/quote]

Okay, so it’s her personal preference. Those that love her should accept her preferences. Obviously in-laws are concerned about their own preferences, not OP’s (the supposed guest of honor).[/quote]

And why can't she respect their personal preference for 4-5 hours?  And those of her children?  You're boxing yourself in.  These people are trying to do something nice.  OP can make some effort.  It is part of life and being part of a family.  It is honoring OP's husband and his family.  She needs to go, be gracious and be appreciative.[/quote]

They are not trying to do "something nice." They're trying to do something for themselves (show off OP and her kids). [/quote]

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