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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I almost believe this is a made up post.  What in laws would be so unreasonable?  [/quote]

Actually, it's pretty consistent.  Those who choose child-free weddings often don't understand or sympathize with those who can't or won't travel with young children.  They don't understand how difficult it can be to have young children and try to find child-care in a different city (when the family has to travel to the wedding) and they don't understand the complications of travel with young children (or they have forgotten).  The attitude of pressuring them to come to the wedding despite young children goes hand-in-hand with having a child-free wedding and not making any plans for those who have to travel to the wedding with small children.

I personally would not go to the wedding in OP's circumstances and my family (and in-laws) would understand.  However, OP should understand and be prepared that this may cause a long-term rift or distancing between her husband and his family if at least some of the family does not attend the wedding.  I personally think that OP's husband goes to the wedding; OP stays home and they divide the children.  DH takes one or both of the older kids to the wedding with him depending on how much he can handle.  I understand that it's very, hard to deal with two young children when traveling.  I have twins and we have had to travel with them since they were 3 months old, but until they were about 4 years old, we always traveled as a family, two adults for two children.  But it would probably be good for the family to bring the two older grandkids because the family will want to see them as they change so much in their formative years.  The infant and mom have a good reason to stay home and rest/bond.[/quote]

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