Reply to Is it sexual harassment to say someone looks great/beautiful?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The other day a male colleague told me he liked my skirt, but then tried to backtrack apologetically "i never say this kind of thing, i just like the pattern..." He and i know each other relatively well and i just felt sad that he felt he had to retract his compliment. I told him I thought he had nice shoes, so now were were even. He laughed a sigh of relief. I hope society finds a good balance so we can still give each other compliments without worrying about complaints.[/quote]

You know, if we need to reset by everyone rethinking what they say in the workplace, then so be it.  It's sad because your male colleague can't say "nice skirt"?  Maybe we have a different notion of what qualifies as sad.

I don't think it's a bad think that people are thinking about how what they say can create a certain environment in the workplace.  That's not a bad thing.  Your colleague didn't get in trouble.  The two of you talked about it.  What's there to be sad about?

[/quote]
It's not wrong to compliment an article of clothing of  a female colleague [b]if you know you're not creepy[/b]. It is wrong to tell her "you look beautiful."[/quote]

Skirt PP here. But this is the issue - the totally normal, non-creepy, nice guy wasn't sure if he was being creepy.  We're making really nice people feel paranoid. That's a type of oppression in itself, and it's not healthy. I'm not saying we shouldn't promote much better behavior overall. There is still tons of sexism in my office and I experience it daily.  That's why I said I hope we find a balance, where the jerks realize they can't get away with their jerky behavior and nice people can still give each other compliments without fear of repercussions or offending. [/quote]

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