Reply to Husband overseas/deployed- my role with inlaws?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] I hate that this has fallen on me and I just can't stand that I have another role. [/quote]

This is your problem.  You resent your husband for being away and are taking it out on his parents.  You need to get over this.  Start thinking of your in-laws less as your husband's burdensome family and more as your children's grandparents. Make an effort to include them in your children's lives, they are already living with an absent father.  Give them this connection to their father through his family. [/quote]

Op here. I don't resent my husband at all. I just don't have the bandwidth to add more of my plate.

I think this thread confirmed what I thought- that it was my fault and I should be doing more. Which seems to be the answer to everything which sucks for me. I don't even really need their help, I'm just annoyed that they whined about not seeing my kids when they didn't even ask me. Last time dh was gone for a long time they used to text me saying "wish the grandkids were here" and I texted back that they could be there any time they wanted. That I'm sure they'd enjoy that activity more than daycare. I think they like the idea of seeing our kids but don't want to babysit or see them without dh there. Btw, my kids are super easy going and they aren't the issue. [/quote]

OP, I'm sorry you're not getting the sympathy you want.  I guess I don't see that your unhappiness with your in-laws is deserved on their part.  They are not mind readers.  If you want your husband's parents to be more involved then you are going to have to be more proactive and welcoming to them to make that happen.  One way for you to make it easier for yourself is to ask your in-laws for help.  You may have to go out of your way to be accommodating.  [i]The kids and I would love to see you.  Would you be interested in coming down next Tuesday?  You could spend the night in our guest room and then on Wednesday you could take the kids to the zoo.  It would be a special treat and they would love the break from day care![/i]  [/quote]
That’s lovely and all but do you actually do this when your husband is deployed? I would be resentful AF to have to cater and be proactive and welcoming to retired grandparents when I’m barely getting an hour to myself for months on end. [/quote]

Yeah, that is stupid.  Why on earth would the GPs come during the week?  That isn't giving OP a break at ALL.  some of you are ridiculous with your expectations for this overloaded mom struggling alone.[/quote]

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