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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's a profound difference between, on the one hand, a marriage where the husband is making enough to support the family and the wife simply makes more (scenario #1), and on the other hand, a marriage where the husband makes an insufficient amount to support the family and the wife is the primary or sole breadwinner (scenario #2).

I personally make significantly more than my wife and always have.  But I would welcome scenario #1 and be uncomfortable and inadequate in scenario #2.

Maybe that makes me old-fashioned and outdated.  Okay.[/quote]

Why do you keep using the phrase "support the family" only with respect to a husband's earnings? I also don't understand why the distinction is meaningful between your two scenarios. In all couples, there may be one making all or most of the money to support the family. Or they may be earning roughly equal amounts. It may have some bearing on which partner is the default parent and is responsible for household management but not much else.[/quote]

I am just speaking from my own perspective as a husband and father who feels that he has various obligations to his family.  For me, personally, the distinction between the 2 scenarios is simply whether I would *feel* I was living up to those obligations, and how I would *feel* about being the husband in both scenarios.  I would *feel* uncomfortable and inadequate if I didn't make enough to support the family.  It's one of the obligations that I *feel* that I have.  If my wife makes more or less than I do is irrelevant to whether I am fulfilling the obligations that I *feel* that I have.  [/quote]

I'm a PP who makes more than my husband and I think you articulated his position very well.  He makes six figures so we would never go hungry or lose our house or anything like that without my salary, and he is 100% fine with the fact that I make a lot more money because it means more for everybody.  If he lost his job or made too little to cover our bare-bones obligations, I think he'd be very uncomfortable.  I don't completely agree with his stance on a man "taking care" of the family (I'm more of the mindset that adults/parents need to step up, regardless of gender), but it's a distinction without a difference in terms of how we live our lives.[/quote]

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