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[quote=Anonymous]Observations from divorced couples I know (I'm a mid 30's male).

- My sister cheated while engaged, and told her fiancé 2 weeks before the wedding. He called it off.  I can't really blame him.  Not a divorce, but very close to it.

- Good friend's wife cheated, he tried to reconcile, then he caught her again (months later) with a different guy.  Two elementary school kids.  He has custody, she lives with the younger BF.  Sad.

- Crazy female friend got married when she wasn't ready, and acted extremely poorly (no cheating, though).  Marriage broke up within the first year, and she treated her ex like dirt during the acrimonious breakup.  He kind of dodged a bullet there.  She is now happily married and seems to have matured considerably.

- Another female friend left her husband and traded up.  Husband was a nice guy, but going nowhere.  Long term BF is older, wealthy, but will never marry her.  She has one child with her ex-husband.  I feel sorry for the guy.

- Another female friend left her husband, and has sole custody of their one child.  Barely dates, and has a really tough live economically.  She was educated, he was not.  I think she married him to spite her parents.  The guy was a nice guy, but they had absolutely nothing in common, and her family treated him like dirt.

- Female friend married her college sweetheart.  He was crazy about her, but I think she married him due to a combination of inertia and more brotherly than spousal love.  She's a free spirit, he's a bright and successful yuppy.  He wanted kids, she wouldn't do it.  Together 5 years, and I suspect she cheated on him numerous times.  She finally told him she had fallen in love with someone else, and he took it well.  He now has a hyper successful career, a younger wife, and 2 kids.  Way better off than he would have been with his ex.  Ex wife is also married (to the guy she left her husband for).  They are happy, one kid, but as free spirits, are not financially secure.  She tried some of the same crap with current husband, and he moved out twice.  I think she has learned her lesson.

- Female friend who found out husband was a serial cheater.  Two young kids, one SN.  They really loved each other, he just didn't keep it in his pants.  She left him, and both were miserable without each other, but she refused to take him back (I can't blame her.  He cheated on her with a lot of women.)  He died tragically a few years after the divorce, and she was a wreck.  I suspect they might have gotten back together if he could really prove he had changed over a longer term period.

I saw all but #2 coming a mile away.  My sister is selfish and manipulative, with substance issues, that operates at the emotional level of a 16 year old in every aspect of her life.  Everyone knew #3 never should have gotten married, and told both parties so in advance of the proposal.  #4 is a shallow narcissist.  #5 is too different from ex, and got married for all the wrong reasons.  #6 was living in a 60's free love fantasy world, and no man in the world would have put up with her behavior.  #7, everyone knew the DH was cheating but the wife, who was in denial over it until her children told her about all the sexts they kept finding on DH's phone.[/quote]

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