Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not to be cruel, but many of the answers on this thread are why so many women choose abortion over adoption (as PP alluded to). It’s sad that many feel that adopting is the right thing, only to have their lives blown up years later by their child contacting their aunts, cousins, etc.

I understand the pain of being adopted, but the fact that you have a family that chose you should mean something. I’m not adopted, but I grew up in a family marred by mental illness, alcoholism, and abuse. I don’t have a second family waiting for me. [/quote]

OP here. Yes. After reading this thread I would never counsel someone to put a baby up for adoption. I truly always thought adoption was the more selfless choice before. I have children and can't imagine giving them up and then moving on with my life and how hard that would be. [/quote]

I'd have to agree OP.  My view is changed.  I don't think I could ever advise someone to give a child up for adoption.  I too thought it was selfless.  As a mother, I believe it may be the hardest thing a woman will ever do is give up a child, and there has to be a damn good reason for why.

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