Reply to Closed Adoption and found the birth mother

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My friend sophomore year of HS gave up a child (early 2000s) who was the product of a rape.  She actually tried to commit suicide after discovering she was pregnant because she was worried what her Catholic parents would think, and the attempt was stopped and of course the hospital told her parents she was pregnant.

We are still close friends, and she has spoken about how she is worried when the kid comes of age soon that she'll be contacted and she doesn't want to be.  Her adoption was closed, and per parents would not permit her to have an abortion and as a minor she needed their consent in GA.  Her husband, parents, siblings, and a few friends do know, but her grandparents and extended family don't know.  Her children are too young to know/understand.  She is worried than extended family member will do a DNA thingy and it will all come out - and she can't really control her cousins doing the DNA thing without telling them and she doesn't want to tell them the whole story - either she discloses the rape or she was a slut.  It is very sad because she is still deeply ashamed of her rape to this day - I don't know if this is also exacerbated by her depression.

This may end up blowing up in her face, especially after reading this thread.  Yes, she is getting mental health treatment.  She is a wonderful person who I cherish as a friend.  I pray it will work out for her.

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I do think a lot of people are nasty on this thread hoping that it blows up in the birth mother's face for trying to hide an adoption. Sadly I think for your friend that it will come out. [/quote]

This was an abortion problem, not a privacy problem. She went through a horrific experience, but it was HER OWN PARENTS who were also the abusers.Seriously.
It will come up in the future, because it will. It is not the child's fault. She should have a pat statement with or without the rape explanation( and she doesn't have to say that, but she can leave it without further abuse to the child) and decline to meet. Her sad story is not over. What happened to her still doesn't support her child's right to genealogy. [/quote]

Is genealogy a right?  Legally I'm not seeing how it is.  Any lawyers want to weigh in?   [/quote]

Basic human right. Everyone deserves to know who they are and what their DNA is.  There does not need to be any legal input...the horse has left the barn. DNA sequencing has made this possible....even if the woman's DNA was never tested. I found my bio father in 15 minutes after matching with a 4th cousin. And yes, I did deserve to know who I am.[/quote]

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