Reply to Do you regret having just one kid?

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Reply to "Do you regret having just one kid?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I were only children who wanted to have at least two so our 1st one would have a sibling. Besides, we were over the moon with our first and she was the perfect baby, toddler and preschooler. We had a second who, NOW, I love to pieces but tbth, the feeling was not there for a long while. She was/is not a horrible baby/toddler:preschooler. She is pretty normal for what I have seen, but the first was so good, that we overestimated. Plus, when she was a baby I was not in a good place mentally. We had a lot of stressful things going on and I developed high anxiety, depression and even thoughts of suicide. Not related to the post partum, but of course having a young baby didn’t help matters.

Also, we had a pretty good thing going with with an only child - nice travels, lots of one on one attention, etc.  since the second this has changed drastically. I just cannot imagine traveling with my two children through Europe.

Now that the younger is older (3), things are MUCH better and going back to normal - but I will still wait to go on big trips again for another year or two.

I love her and she brings me great joy, but for a long time I actually regretted having a second. If I could go back in time I probably would not have had a second (or probably would if I knew she would be missing on my life). I’m just a better mom to one. Some people thrive in chaos, I don’t.  And I like down time, which  was almost zero for a long while - going back to normal now thankfully!

So, unless you REALLY want a second, third, fourth child and are sure you are cut for it, I would stop at one.[/quote]

I'm the PP who had a first and then twins.  I think it's interesting to hear from other only children who have mild regrets about having multiple kids.  There's something about that one on one time that's now gone that I really miss.  It's something I grew up with and feel bad taking away from my first.  I'm sure I'd feel differently if I had a lonely childhood, but I had a great relationship with my parents, who built a loving community of friends and extended relatives around us.  I also feel like I was a better mom to one.  But I'm doing my best and feel lucky to have them all in my life.  [/quote]

Thanks for your post.  I’m an only and debating having a second.  I feel like I have a good thing going on.  But perhaps your struggles are more a result of having TWINS?  [/quote]

No doubt!  I did have some anxiety about even having a second, but it's amplified so much more by having twins.  And by having 3 total.  With two kids, you can each take one kid for one on one time; with three, not so much.  [/quote]

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