Reply to How do you respond to "C" grades? Is this reasonable?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here:

Why would I allow the child to have the privilege of a phone with her all the time (including at school) if she isn't showing that she can handle the basic requirements of her job (i.e. passing exams and putting forth the effort to re-take if she doens't pass the first time)?  She already has plenty of time on a home laptop.  I don't think she is "deprived" by losing phone privileges -- which for her is games/music on the bus and at school -- as well as when she is at home on her laptop.

Anxiety and depression???  Didn't WE all grow up without a personal entertainment device during the school day?  Did we all suffer from anxiety and depression as a result of boredom?[/quote]

Hey OP- it sounds like you have already made up your mind.  What is the point of your post?[/quote]

Hey PP-- did you read the original post?  I said I was curious what other people thought and how they react to "C"s even though I wasn't looking for advice on what to do.  You are right... I have made up my mind.

It's interesting to see how some people view phones as much more integral to a child's life and other see it as a privilege to be earned.  I'm in the latter camp.  To me, it is largely the same as a hand-held game (like a DS).  Yes, it has some value in communicating, but based on my intel, DD is mostly chatting with people from her favorite server.  The same server she spends hours on every day (yes, I have an automatic limit set on her computer, but she still gets 3 hrs on it).  She almost never says she has any homework -- which is fine if she is doing it during school hours.  BUT, when she tells me she has no homework and doesn't need to study and then fails quizzes and tests --- and can't be bothered to re-take the one failed grade that can be rectified.... , I have a problem with that.

Re:  timing... the failed quiz (grammar) was several weeks ago.  There wasn't anything she could do to change that.  The failed test was taken in the week prior to spring break.  I saw the failed grade while on spring break.  The teacher told me via email that she thought DD didn't read the passage before answering the questions b/c of the time-stamp on when she started and finished the test.  We don't know for sure whether that is true.  DD says she read it.  She has a tendency to pick the easiest answer without really taking her time to think about the options b/c she assumes she is right.  Teacher said she could re-take it after spring break.  I asked for her suggestions on what we can do or if she recommends any programs or anything the school offers.  Teacher didn't offer any options.  I said I thought it would be important for DD to review her answer to learn from her mistakes so that she wouldn't make the same ones on the re-take.  Teacher did not agree or disagree -- or offer to review the mistakes with DD.  In other classes the re-take form sometimes requires the kids to list the questions they got wrong, figure out the right answer, and then reflect on why they picked the wrong answer.  I figured I'd let DD follow the teacher's requirements --whatever those were.  I waited until the end of spring break to speak to her about it so that it wasn't a cloud over her spring break.

As I stated, I reminded or asked DD about the form and taking the test several times last week.  Each time she assured me she had or would be doing whatever was needed to re-take the test (although she seemed to be putting off the actual re-take).

I cannot hold her hand on teaching her whatever her English teacher wants her to know.  I can teach math up to a certain level.  I do not know what 8th grade English requirements are, nor does my child have an open mind for learning from me at this age.  She thinks she is doing just fine.  Two failed quizzes (just saw another failed vocab quiz on the gradebook this week) and a failed test suggest that she is not doing as well as she thinks.  Frankly, it is pretty amazing to me that a kid's grade can be as high as it is with three F's on the books.  I guess they give substantial weight to daily assignments and projects.  I have already looked into summer week-long classes at a nearby private school that would help with grammar and writing.  FWIW, this is a kid who chose creative writing as an elective, chose Hons English for next year, and when she was in 2nd grade, she scored a 99% on the verbal abilities test.  She is a very capable reader.  She enjoys writing (what she wants to write).

DH and I actually think this IS the right time to show her the limits of her phone/electronics privileges, b/c things are only going to get harder in high school, and the stakes will be higher (re:  GPA/college implications).

If she had re-taken the test and still ended up with a C, I wouldn't have as much of a problem with her effort/grade.  If this was calculus or and AP course, or if she was meeting with the teacher or asking for help (from anyone), I would be more inclined to work with her.  But, MS seems pretty easy to us... and we have reminded her to take the reigns and improve her score.  She has not seen fit to do so.  So we have to do the responsible thing as parents and remove distractions... starting with distractions AT school. 
[/quote]

Three hours chatting on a server daily?? You aren't doing her any time management favors. No kid chooses to study when there is 3 hours of daily screen time available.[/quote]

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