Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous]Female response here.  This is going to sound a little cheesy but you should check out the 5 Love Languages 
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

We did a retreat several years ago and learned about this and it was eye opening.  The gist of it is that people tend to express love in the way they want to receive it, and better communication comes from expressing it in the way your partner wants to receive it.  So your primary love language seems to be physical touch with also some words of affirmation.  You need to figure out what your wife’s is and that will help you communicate with her better.  You also need to make sure she understands that your primary love language is physical touch.  We have this in our marriage, and it can quickly become a chicken and egg thing if you don’t get what you need you stop giving what the other needs. Once I realized that for my husband to feel loved he needed physical touch it made a big difference to how I priotizrd it.  That said, some days all I feel I can give is a passionate kiss, a long hug, etc.  But I try to do something to fill his need for touch.  I also find myself more inclined to want to be intimate when he gives me physical affection without necessarily expecting it to lead to something more.  So when he kisses and hugs me daily in a lingering and meaningful way, it helps keep us connected and leads to more frequency.  When those small connections don’t happen, it can quickly deteriorate to a long stretch without any kind of physical connection.

But, at times in life I have real problems handling stress and I just sort  of shut down and want to turn my brain off by watching TV, etc. So I think asking your wife how she is really doing and feeling about life, is she happy.  Being so disconnected from you all and trying to bury herself in work and other things  may be a sigh of depression or masking another issue she does not want to deal with.[/quote]

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