Reply to DW work is impacting our marriage - looking for advice from the smart people of DCUM

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[quote=Anonymous]Does she actually like being a parent, or does she like the idea of it? I know a family that is in a situation very similar to yours (and there is an infinitesimal chance that it actually is you), and from the outsiders perspective, we are waiting for the lightbulb to go off for the DH that the DW just really is enamored of a life she missed - a very self-centered life like back in her college days - and prioritizes that over her family. I think she feels like she missed something back in the day, and the family income allows her to do that now, so,under the guise of the job she is living her 20s over, but this time properly resourced. As a bonus she has cute kids to Instagram but doesn’t actually do much with them any more, let alone parent. I don’t think she dislikes the husband, I think she’s just prioritizing everything else and her work family is her family of focus right now.

I’m not sure she’s ever going to change - I don’t think parenting was her thing bad when she SAH either. So it’s kind of up to you, OP, to figure out what you’re looking for. Parenting two elementary kids is a drain no matter what, and splitting up isn’t really going to change that burden for you. I am a bit concerned that what you really seem to miss is the sex, not the companionship of the person, which means that maybe you were never as compatible as you thought you were to begin with.

I don’t think a single person we know will be surprised when we hear that that couple is breaking up. And not because we think there was something horrible going on inside the marriage, but just that what they wanted out of life turned out to be very different and that one person was really into family life and one wasn’t. [/quote]

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