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[quote=Anonymous]Not sure why everyone here is assuming a careless and uninterested husband will either seek or get 50% custody. The sad truth is, statistically, that most divorcing fathers don't even TRY to get 50% custody. Most are all too happy to let moms do all the work, and just be weekend dad (at best!), taking the kids off for some fun for a few hours every so often.

And though OP's husband may be an idiot (or just a guy with really severe and untreated ADHD), most judges are not idiots. A woman who goes into divorce proceedings and offers evidence showing that the father is not willing or able to properly care for the children stands an excellent chance of getting full physical custody of the children, with Idiot Dad just getting visits.

I don't know whether OP's account of her husband's negligence with the kids is fair or unfair. But OP, if you truly believe your husband is incapable of caring properly for your kids, start collecting evidence of that: keep a record of messed up stuff he does, with dates and details. ("Sunday, April 8: forgot to feed kids for hours." Whatever. And go see a good divorce lawyer.
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