Reply to Do you care about being estranged from your adult children?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband has been estranged from his three kids from his first marriage.  Ex wife did everything she could to make him the one and lied about so many things and the kids believed it.  [b]He does not care as its been so many years.  One started to reach out occasionally and he's friendly back but he'd be happier if they didn't contact him as its who knows what its really about and he's tired of it.[/b]  One other only calls for money and once we started saying no, they refused to talk to us, which is fine.  If you have a kid, living with your girlfriend who refuses to work and you are in school, you figure out how to provide.  We offered all our baby gear and clothing and they refused demanding new.  No biggie.[/quote]

I can see why his kids don't have a relationship with him. And it's not their mother's fault.[/quote]

Why is it always the man to blame?  She cheated, she told the kids he didn't pay child support and the extra's she demanded and that is why they went without when she refused to spend the money (and if we bought stuff for the kids and sent it, she threw it away), etc.  So, after being treated like crap by the kids and ex, what more should he do?  They only want his money and when they are adults, its time they support themselves (and if they want gifts/money, at least email a thank you when you receive it).  He's a great father and husband. If kids want money from Dad, since he pays life long alimony, get it from her.[/quote]

He should have gotten 50/50 custody.

His wife cheated, so, what does that have to do with the kids?

Move out or kick her out and raise your kids.

But he walked away and only contributed $$$. That is not a father.[/quote]

She moved and took the kids cross country without his consent.  He could not move.  He did not walk out.  She cheated.  If dads are refused visitation they should not pay child support.   Cheating speaks to her character.  There is little help for dads. [/quote]

Still doesn’t explain why he’s not interested and “tired of it” when they contact him now, even the ones who aren’t asking for money. [/quote]

Also creepy is how pp is apparently proud of her DH’s behavior. She wants his money instead of it going to his ”greedy” kids?[/quote]

His kids are adults.  They have their own lives and need to support themselves.  Why are adults who have no contact or very little entitled to inheritance?  My husband tried very hard with them and treated them and his ex very well despite everything, so yes, I am proud of him.[/quote]

They have little contact because your DH discourages it, as you plainly said. You think they need to support themselves so you and your sprogs can have all his money.[/quote]

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