Reply to s/o what is the solution to lack of desire?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is what I found after 10+ years of marriage.  Apart from all other marital duties, sex is a part of marriage that absolutely cannot abide any sort of compulsion.  Yes, you can guilt-trip your spouse into duty sex with you, but the overall health of your sex life will suffer.

Here are the two guidelines that help us to have it sort of hot:

- accept that as time goes on, there will be ebb and flow in your desire for each other.  Regardless of what DCUM tells you, it is perfectly normal for loving couples to take a break from sex for a few weeks or even months, and then come together again with a renewed passion for each other.

- accept that it is better to have less sex of good quality than more bad sex.  The key to achieving this is somewhat counter-intuitive, but it is maintaining a level of excitement without bringing it to climax every time, and having generally less sex than we would like.  Sexy thoughts, a bit of foreplay, flirtation, some fondling here and there but without expectation that it will lead to intercourse. This can go on for days.  Then when we finally have it, it's mind blowing.
Also, if you have young kids, it's normal that you forget about sex for a few months. It just is. [/quote]
Likewise, I have found:

- accept that as time goes on there is an ebb and flow in your desire for [b]monogamy[/b]. Regardless of what DCUM tells you, it is perfectly normal for loving couples to take a break from [b]monogamy [/b]for a few weeks or even months, and then come together again with a renewed passion for each other.

Also, if you have young kids, it's normal that you forget about [b]monogamy [/b]for a few months. It just is.[/quote]
You love telling it to yourself. This is the topic about a monogamous marriage, not your personal fairytale. Nobody is asking here how to cheat, plenty of other topics on that. [/quote]

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