Reply to How to advise MIL's friend, who is barred from any real relationship with her grandson?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My MIL's friend has been barred from having any substantive relationship with her grandson, who is 4 years old. She seems like a perfectly nice woman, but for some reason, her son and his wife will only let her see their son once every 6-8 months, even though they only live an hour away. The last time we all visited, all the son and his wife did was rant about her to DH and me, whenever MIL's friend was out of earshot. We heard about how incompetent she is (without any specific examples to back it up). When their kid would go to play with MIL's friend, they would scoff and say "what is he doing?!"

Just two stories that are representative of the dynamic:

- MIL's friend bought the kid play doh for his birthday. His mom yelled at her, saying "we don't use that in our house! bring it back to the store!"
- MIL's friend suggested the kid start to clean up his toys, since they were about to leave the house to go somewhere. The mom runs into the room, saying "I'm the only adult here! No one tells my son to clean up but me!"

Apparently MIL's friend has cried about this, since he's her only grandson. MIL doesn't know what advice to give her. [/quote]

The play-doh may sound unreasonable on its own, unless you know that the son and DIL have repeatedly asked his mom not to give play-doh but she continues to do it anyway because she thinks her grandson should have play-doh, regardless of how much of a hassle it ends up being for the parents (such as if the kid has a tendency to throw it around, mush it into his hair, etc., instead of playing with it properly).

The clean-up thing may sound unreasonable on its own, unless you know that it happened at the son/DIL's house and that his mom has a long history of passive-aggressive comments and actions to suggest their house isn't kept up to her standards.[/quote]

OP here. Why are you providing inaccurate additional information? None of that is remotely true. [/quote]

How would you know? PP merely pointed out that there might be more to it and gave examples. [/quote]

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