Reply to Sending kids to live with their dad for a time

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your STBX was emotionally abusive and financially controlling and he texted other women. When you told him you were taking the kids and moving home he sold your BMW. Remember, that’s why you left him.

OP’s mom doesn’t think OP should have left her emotionally abusive marriage. OP’s mom invited the STBX to visit the family beach house with the kids last summer, and OP has been at odds with him mom ever since.

OP has only been in Western MD for a year or so, and has struggled since she arrived. She was waitressing for awhile, and late last year, she considered working as a stripper to make ends meet.[/quote]

I can see now that there was never a time in OP's life where she wasn't struggling. Horrible parents. Horrible choices one after the other because she had no loving support or guidance. Just the opposite, really. Cruel, abusive, awful people. OP, you chose poorly in everything you've done in life up until now. Today you can change that. Start making a plan. I just googled "Help For Single Mothers In MD" and came up with a lot of resources. Also, get a library card and read, "What Color Is Your Parachute" to give you good guidance for job hunting. You can probably read it online for free with your library card.

Once you give those kids up, know that your Xdh can fight for custody with his new wife (which he will inevitably have), and the judge at that point decides which parent is in the childrens' best interest. Because they're already living with him, a judge will choose him a the primary caregiver and you will get visitation. Why? Because it's in the child's best interest not to uproot them, yet again. He will have a better lawyer than you because you can't afford one. A judge will see that he can provide better. Don't let a judge make the decision about your relationship with your children that will impact the rest of your (and their) lives. You will never get these kids back.

It's time for you to stop making bad decisions and start creating the life you want for yourself and your children. You say you've tried as hard as you can up until now, but you have been reactive (leaving because he sold your BMW, moving to be near an unhelpful friend, cutting off your mother because you're mad at her, choosing pride over the security of your children) instead of being creative and strategic. Find programs for single moms to help you become creative and strategic instead of flailing around that will result in inevitable failure. It's not over -- you can do this.

[/quote]

My STBX sold the car after I left. Also, I am on speaking terms with my mom - no bad blood - but I am not welcome to stay with her.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. [/quote]

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