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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My middle daughter declined to have a birthday party from ages 9 through 12 due to our rule that she couldn't exclude just one or two kids from her very small classes. We informed her that the alternative was no party, and that's what she chose.  I think it's important to set boundaries for what sorts of social behavior you are OK with as a parent. [/quote]

I agree with this and I think another part is, if she does have the one she wanted to exclude she has to be welcoming. If she's going to "include" and ignore, it's no good.

I think the majority of parents have the right idea and care about raising kind humans. I am always surprised at how some of the parents who buy into the cliques have either themselves been excluded or their kid who is now included has been excluded. They somehow feel exempt from teaching their kids to be decent because they or their kid already suffered enough. I have met 2 moms like this. One was actually a good friend at one point, but listening to her talk about all her social engineering to keep her kids in the clique made me distance myself. My kids were much younger so it took a while before I saw this side of her. Sure enough she was the kid excluded a lot growing up and somehow that didn't turn into her being empathetic toward others.[/quote]

Plus if/when you witness someone being mean the party is over and everyone goes home.  Over, as in everyone sits quietly and waits for pickup.[/quote]

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