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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh OP sorry no one here is taking you seriously. I have the same issue and it sucks. And for the record guys...coming on here and saying "there's no way, doesn't compute, that just doesn't make sense" doesn't make us feel any better - we are well aware of the (in many cases well-earned, sure) stereotype that the man wants it all the time and the woman is the withholder/gatekeeper...you're just making us feel worse and more alone.

Anyways OP I too am attractive, have not gained weight and did not turn him down a bunch or anything, and my husband seems largely uninterested. I think part of it is stress - when he gets stressed it just falls by the wayside for him. But that shouldn't explain a total lack of interest. It seems he's just low drive, and that sucks because sex has only become more important to me as I age. I wouldn't say porn addiction or anything but I do think my husband also got into the habit of a quick porn jerkoff because it was easier and quicker and he's just exhausted by the time he gets home. I dunno. Everyone will come on here and respond and tell me that's no excuse and doesn't make sense and they're never too tired or stressed for sex, and I will feel even worse / more hopeless [/quote]

[b]It’s so much more common than people think for the guy to be the one avoiding sex[/b]. It doesn’t compute with people's notions about male sexuality. You are not alone. It sucks  and it can really kill your self-esteem.[/quote]

+1. I have plenty of attractive girlfriends complaining about their husbands lack of interest. I don't think all these men are cheating. [/quote]

WTF?  I’m 40 and in shape.  I exercise a lot to cope with lack of sex.  I’d love to find a woman like that.  I love sex and not only because of the physical part.  I don’t feel connected without it.  So the rejection hits us too, but we’re supposed to deal with it.

In any case, not sure of what the deal is.  My wife has been made the comment she wishes my libido would die down.  Sorry lady, if I’m like my father that’s not happening [/quote]

The women will hit menopause and have less of an issue.

The men, not so much.[/quote]

NP. Maybe menopause will help curb the feeling of rejection in “real time,” but I’m not sure I will get over the fact that my DH would rather have no sex that address his confidence issues...and I wonder if I will forgive myself for choosing to stay for my kids).  He now says that he misses sex but I’m like really, after all this time, you expect me to go down that road with you? Not to mention that I’m not attracted to him anymore. How can you still be attracted to somebody who doesn’t even try to connect sexually?[/quote]
I’m a guy and that’s how I feel.  How am I supposed to feel connected when she won’t bother to address the issue.  If I can’t connect sexually then I don’t connect at all. That’s how I’m built. [/quote]

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