Reply to Just don't really care

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Just don't really care"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]"Sex dried up" is pretty vague -- are you initiating and getting shot down or you're both just busy and it's not a priority?  As for the rest -- you don't care if she's home sick, you don't want to hear about her day, "she's not a bitch" but you don't care about her -- you are posting like the problem is her but you sound like a really bad husband in your own words.  Like, not even a decent acquaintance, let alone lover.[/quote]

Op here, terrible sex like once every two months.  Initiate and get shut down whenever I do.  Last time we did I almost told her to stop because honestly it was less enjoyable  than doing it myself but I knew that would hurt her a lot.  I would not argue your points, that is kind of the point of my post.  I am trying to see if there are any suggestions on how to deal with this situation.  I am not trying to be like this, and if we rewound the tape to 3/6/17 I would have gotten her soup, stayed at home in bed with her as long as I could have before going back to work and probably texted her like 4 times to see if she needed anything.  I just don't have it in me anymore.[/quote]
If you think she didn't feel that you wanted to stop, you are dead wrong. You were not enjoying her, a huge problem. I don't care if you enjoy yourself, but you can't have a good sex life without enjoying your mate and her knowing it. It can't be just lack of sex that made you not care, if you say that you are friends. Why do you go home for lunch if it only brings the negative out? What is so appalling about your wife? Give us more than "no sex".[/quote]

Hi, OP here.  I wanted to stop because there was absolutely no investment from her.  She won't let me enjoy her, she just lays there and I can tell that she just wants to get it over with.  Its not about me, I'm not a horny guy that wants crazy sex every day, I have tried even just getting her off without expecting anything in return and even that was met with lukewarm at best response.  Its not the lack of sex, its the lack of having a wife that wants to be my wife that has me where I am.  Sure, she is a good friend and we get along well, but I don't have sex with my good friends, I have sex with my wife.  She is the only outlet I chose for a romantic physical connection and she has shut it down-for whatever reason.  I'm not even really mad at her, I don't think she wants to have this type of relationship, but at this point I don't see her as a romantic partner, someone that just lives there.  I went home for lunch because I live there and that is where I always go to for lunch, she just happened to be there sick today.  She's not appalling, we get through the day to day fine, feeding kids, going shopping etc.  I just find that I don't really care that much about engaging with her after repeated attempts to have a marital relationship.

[/quote]

Did you or she have any minor complaints about sex before it all went down the drain? Besides sex, what are the conflicts in your marriage? Feeding kids and going shopping don't fill the day. 
What's interesting to me is that you don't see your wife as a sexual object. People break up, have no sex with the person for years, but still want them. Did you settle when you got married or did she rock your world?[/quote]

Hi, no sex was pretty good, not as much as I would want and not as intense as I would have wanted but it was good for us from what I could tell.  I see my wife as a sexual object, just there is no sexual response.  So its not that I don't think she's hot, I tell her that all the time, she just isn't interested in me sexually anymore.  I didn't settle I don't think, we had a good relationship, including sexual, when we were dating and even at the beginning of our marriage.  Once we were married for a while that is when it slowed down and ended.  I have been a few girls that "rocked my world" sexually and I did not nor do I expect that my wife was like that. 
The women that rocked my world were total disasters as people, so I guess that was the trade off.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics