Reply to Completely devastated by 2nd divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I have a lot of sympathy for you. You may have not made the wisest choic in marrying this guy,  but you don't have to pay for it by spending the rest of your life with a man you can't trust and who can't show you the respect of telling the truth even after he's been caught. You don't have to compound one mistake by making a bigger one and you also don't have to beat yourself up- you didn't do the worst thing in the world!!
You'll find other things or people to occupy the space he held. The phone calls after work- that habit will break and in a month you won't even miss it like you imagine you would. You can create a fulfilling life without him, and I think a first step is talking to a professional to help you through it.
Wishing you the absolute best![/quote]

Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me . Messages like these are really helping me right now, please keep all kind of messages/advice coming. I am home alone with the crazy wind outside and extremely depressed. Any advice  even if it is harsh to solidify my decision and give me the strength I need is appreciated.[/quote]
I'm glad it was helpful OP. I can feel the pain you're in and it's so hard to see it now, but it will get better and you won't always feel this way. If you stay with him you will continue to lose yourself and either because a part-time PI trying to catch him in more lies, or you'll adjust and accept and grow numb to the whole thing just so you can manage. But what people don't realize is when you numb yourself to feelings of pain, you numb yourself to feelings of joy too. You deserve better and so does your daughter. [/quote]

You're right, I fear losing myself. I see the early signs already: constantly trying to snoop on his phone, read emails, check facebook messages. This is not a way to live, I am not at peace. I used to be a very secured independent person, and I am seeing how this is turning me into someone obsessed into finding more lies, more about the affair, more about what he is hiding. I wasn't a perfect wife, but he had no right into making me live like this, I dont think i can forgive him for that.[/quote]

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