Reply to Sidwell parents — is your child happy?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing about this thread is that those opposing sidwell like environments act as if all kids are the same. If your kid loves Burke or field then they may not like sidwell. Or if a kid is unhappy at a “sidwell like” school they may love Burke or field. But some kids do actually enjoy the challenge. They thrive off of it. Most kids are not like this, but if you do have a kid like this, they are the kind of kid who will be happy at a school like sidwell. [/quote]
Agree. Some kids will get stressed out by the work, others will find ways to handle it.  Know your kid, and don't be afraid to move if your kid isn't dealing well with the situation.[/quote]

The false premise of many of the comments on this thread is that Sidwell is unique in the pressure placed on its student (by the school, by their parents, or by themselves). I have one kid at Sidwell, have had another at an MCPS magnet, and know several kids/families at other top private (St. Albany, GDS) and public (RM IB, Blair math-sci, TJ). ALL OF THESE SCHOOLS ARE CRAZY INTENSE. The pressure from the school in the form of tons of homework is generally worst at the public magnets - the pressure from families and students themselves varies, but I certainly don’t think Sidwell is any more of a pressure cooker than anywhere else on this score. The fact is that competition for admission to the most selective colleges is over the top - way, way worse than anything that my generation (eighties h.s grad) faced. You can argue that the focus on getting into the most selective schools is warped, and you might be right. The fact remains,however, that parents, students think this is extremely important, and that’s ultimately why the experience of attending these schools is what it is. The DC area in particular is full of overachiever, hyper ambitious parents who want their kids to be admitted to the most selective (and consequently most prestigious) colleges.[/quote]

I agree. For prospective parents, I think the important question is not “are most kids at Sidwell happy,” but “what kind of kids are happy at Sidwell, and is my kid that kind of kid?”

I think Sidwell (or GDS, or BCC, or TJ, or any of the other super high powered public or private schools on the area) would have made my kids miserable. They’re bright and creative but they aren’t very competitive and they don’t tend to enjoy super high pressure situations. We sent them to Burke, where they have been much more free to take classes just because they want to learn, try new things, sometimes do poorly at new things, and so on, without much anxiety about it. I recognize that our choices as parents may result in the kids not being as likely to get into a super-elite college as they would have been had we pushed them harder. But I also think they are having happier, saner childhoods as a result. If they end up at, i don’t know, Eevergreen State or whatever instead of Harvard I am okay with that, and have confidence that in the long run they will find different paths to success and happiness.

On the other hand, Field and Burke and the like send kids to elite colleges every year too, so maybe in the end they will end up in exactly the same place, but, I hope, less burned out than their peers from more high pressure high schools. Who knows?
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