Reply to Care to share what you (or loved ones) pay for assisted living?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]21:43 again. I’d also encourage everyone to talk to their kids or other family about what you actually want should you become ill or incapacitated. Also meet with a lawyer and draw up documents such as wills, health Care proxies, and POAs. Then talk to whoever your designated agent is honestly about your finances, where your money is, where important documents are, and if you are approaching older age, consider trying to simplify to some degree. My parents had trust issues and issues accepting the reality of their health situations and refused to do any of this despite pleading from me. Well, as I knew would happen, they got urgently sick and I found myself running around trying to sort out all of this with no actual authority to do so. I had to bring a lawyer to a hospital to get a POA and health care proxy for one of them and for the other I really need to go to court for guardianship but for now am just winging it until someone asks me for paperwork. I used huge amounts of leave from work and spend huge amounts of my own money dealing with this. It’s been an ongoing nightmare, and frankly I am extremely angry at them for being so stubborn and leaving me with such a big mess. Their philosophy was along the lines of “oh just leave us there to die and get on with your life.”  Well news flash - no halfway decent person - let alone a child - is going to do that to their parents. So the least you can do is to try to get things lined up to ease the process for your caregiver.

Ok. Off my soapbox.[/quote]

Im sorry about this.  If it makes you feel better, currently struggling much like you in taking care of widowed mom.  Tough, very tough phase for both the parents and kid care takers.  [/quote]

This is one of my ILs. Did not want to consider anything related to elderly care and forced all the decision-making on adult child. Did not create a POA - had to finagle that long-distance. Had to take over all finances, etc. It's a real mess and he didn't plan for it a single bit. Nightmare! [/quote]

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