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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You people really need some education in  technology. What are you, a bunchbof lawers and govie administrators?

No need to shut down wifi. Yiu need to control thr content at the router level, based upon IP. You then need to review the logs. I dont even have kids doing these things, so i dont lock anything down,  but i sure as hell review the logs to makes sure if there is anything questionable i can get ahead of it. There is zero privacy for anyine in our house who uses wifi.

Visibility into mobile data is a no brainer.[/quote]

While all you recommend does work, it only works where it's your wifi, right? What about this girl using wifi at a friend's house, at a coffee shop, at school, anywhere? Using a device that her parents don't even know she has, or using someone else's device while with a friend? There can be zero privacy for anyone[i] in the home [/i] using home wifi, but that doesn't mean OP can have any visibility into what her DD is doing on some phone OP didn't even know DD had and was using somewhere outside the home. Again, what you say is a good idea, but only covers a fraction of what the DD could be doing anywhere, anytime, on any wifi, from any device she can get her hands on. So OP should be doing what you suggest here, yes, but it's not enough. Not nearly, especially as OP's DD seems more than capable of finding ways to sext.

To OP:

The best post above is the one saying that it's time to get professional help immediately. You've seen the posts here but now I'd truly be getting your DD and your family help. Counseling or therapy, because she seems to feel some need to get acceptance or be cool or whatever the hell it is, through the sexting. She may only be trying to do what her friends are doing (and that means you will have to enforce ditching those friends --another huge and difficult thing, with a teen); or she may actually believe she's "in love" with the recipient. Whatever the cause, and despite those saying "this is normal!," (it is not; it does happen but it's not the norm no matter what others say), please reach out tomorrow morning for professional help. It will take time to get appointments. Meanwhile, you may need to make an action plan with your DH about what to take away; whether to remove everything from DD's room (is she hiding devices?); how to ensure she is only at school or with one of you at all times for a while, etc. I would ensure that DD is not on her own, at friends' houses hanging out, etc. If she has an activity she does, I'd be there the whole time if it's one where they can slip off and get on their phones. All this while you  wait to get in to see a therapist or whatever it takes.

In your shoes I also would tell the school counselors and with them, craft what you want them to tell all her teachers. All of them. Your DD is likely doing this at school, or if not, she may be doing it to impress friends at school; either way, the school needs to know what's going on. I know of a middle school where they called in students who were doing some inappropriate stuff on Instagram (not sexting, but still inappropriate) and told them that what they posted could be seen by others, even those they thought they'd blocked; images were getting passed around. That school was tough and proactive. Maybe a teacher your DD likes could tell her that if she does not stop instantly she is going to be seen (or read) by people she thinks can't see her now.

I think the red flag that didn't get picked up on by most posts was that you say DD's first sexting was not with the local boy at another HS but with someone in Florida who appears to be a stranger. That is a sign she may have been in online chat rooms, on forums, maybe even FaceTiming with someone who is a stranger. She may have been exposed to a lot more online than you realize, and strangers may have more information about her and how to reach her than you know. She seems to be screaming for attention and validation and the PP who said, get this worked on now was right -- by the time she's 18, you can do nothing at all after that.

And please tell the parents of the friend who let your DD have the old phone to use. I would want to know if my kid gave an old phone to a friend, even if my kid were just being nice, knew nothing about why the friend wanted it, and had zero sexting etc. going on herself. I'd want to know because I would need to talk to her about why she shouldn't give phones etc. to a friend, even if that friend tells a sob story about parents taking away her own phone. 
Please update us but ONLY when things calm down for your family, OP.[/quote]

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