Reply to 17 year old DD refuses to take her little sisters to school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP your 17 year old did not choose to have kids - you did. It's your job, not hers.

Also, this article has been making some rounds. You might find reading it helpful.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/10/when-kids-have-to-parent-their-siblings-it-affects-them-for-life/543975[/quote]

Oh boo hiss.  The mom isn't asking her to breastfeed.

Chores are chores and part of being a family.[/quote]

Absolutely. Contribute to the household is one thing, but being a caretaker for others is something else - she didn't choose to have kids and should not be required to pick up after others. Pick up after herself? Absolutely. If you want her to take care of your kids, maybe you should pay her?[/quote]

Do your kids only wash their own dinner plate after dinner?[/quote]

How is this similar? I'm thinking something like - if someone cook/prep, the others clean. It's a tradeoff.

Are the younger siblings doing something that really helps the older sister, where there's a sort of even exchange of duties? If so, what? But being the oldest does not mean you have to provide free childcare. If you want her to take care of others, pay her - but she's not a free babysitter.

And I say that as the youngest child in a large family. [/quote]

It's hard to find a babysitter for the mornings.  Op, pay your DC to babysit, but make corresponding reductions in payments you make on her behalf for luxuries (monthly cellphone bill, car payment, car insurance....)  I don't think older kids should take care of siblings, so you should have your younger child completely ready before you leave, but I also think everyone should contribute what they can to the family's wellbeing.  [/quote]

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