Reply to Do parents/in laws have any right to expect an effort at family togetherness?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Do parents/in laws have any right to expect an effort at family togetherness?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just think it speaks to the kind of relationship they have. My parents don't "expect" anything but I make a lot of effort to see them because I want to see them and spend time with them. My parents are independent and practical - they don't insist that we have to see each other on THE holiday. My in-laws, on the other hand, lay on the guilt trip, which actually annoys my spouse more than me (I think because I have emotional distance.). So it feels more like an obligation than something joyful. [/quote]

Yes, I feel a sense of obligation and gratitude to my parents.  But I also love them and enjoy spending time with them.  They are good houseguests and warm hosts.  They are flexible and resourceful.  They understand that I have competing obligations to my in-laws.  They are not critical of how I raise my child, but also give good advice.  All of that means that seeing them isn't just an obligation, but also a pleasure.  They also raised me with an example of caring for their parents.

So while it's certainly the case that some people are just selfish, it's also the case that different families have different relationships--critical, controlling, cold parents who are constantly demanding that their kids satisfy their obligations are not going to have kids who make extra efforts to see them.  And if you didn't model love and care for your elders, don't be surprised that your kids are like you.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics