Reply to My 30 something brother is homeless and is ruining everyone's lives

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Your post reeks of ignorance about mental health issues and addiction. Addicts lie and steal. They are driven to it. They cannot help themselves. A lot end up dead.

These are FACTS. Don't judge him as you would judge a healthy person.

Now with these facts, your family should never have enabled him. It simply prolongs the pain. He should have been cut off a long time ago and directed to institutional help. Families cannot force addicted adults to seek help and treatment. They just need to let go, and it's incredibly painful, but your parents should have been educated and guided to do so.

You need to drag your parents to addict meetings and therapy so they can be persuaded to cut him off. You can also tell them that you will NOT support them if their money is going to your brother. You can do this by paying the rent directly to the landlord, and similar things. You must clearly explain to your brother that he is not welcome in your neighborhood and you do not want him around your family.

The end.[/quote]

How do I drag them to meetings?  They are adults too.  I've told them they are enabling him and that they are just prolonging his problems and keeping him from getting well. [b]My dad says he will "support his kids until he is broke or dead." [/b] [/quote]

[b]Surely as a parent you can understand this, no? [/b] I'm not saying your dad is doing it right, but at least try to see where he is coming from.  That brother you hate so much is your parents' son.  The son they love ever bit as much as you love your children.  [/quote] No I don't understand it. They aren't supporting him. They are supporting his addiction. And they are throwing the rest of their kids under the bus and damaging our financial futures... Because we now have to financially support our parents. So the only thing they're supporting is my brother's drug dealer, while actively hurting the rest of their kids. So no, you're wrong. [/quote]

As a parent [I posted and id'ed myself as a parent of adult children] I can understand what OP's parents are doing.  But, I would so immerse myself in the problems/issues of 1 that other children and grandchildren are impacted in many ways-financial, safety, etc.

The OP's parents are ruined financially and  sadly seem more than willing to enmesh their DD in the problems.  An approx. 77 year old man moving to AX so he can work to give his son spending money-rent, food, and whatever.  Or just drugs and partying.  Is he supposed to live with the son?  Elderly man shuddering in a back bedroom while the  son and his friends party/drink in the LR.  What vacate his room while addicts turn tricks in his bed?  Clean up needles?  It is just ridiculous.  Will he earn enough to have his own residence and 1 for his son?  I assume no so maybe my description is apt of the elderly man's potential living situation.

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