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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]UPDATE
OP here. Bumping this for thoughts on what to do this year. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I had a run in with this man at a wedding recently and it was bad. He followed me around all night and kept trying to get near me when I was on the dance floor. Ruined my night. The worst part was that I was seated next to him at dinner. I cried when I realized that and I didn't eat my meal or sit down other than for toasts all night. I am sick of spending my Christmas's with him. My inlaws have been hosting this party for 20+ years and they don't send invites, so they can't not invite him. It's an open house Christmas party. I get irrationally upset at his wife too for letting this go on and not seeing it. His wife has a degenerative illness. I have a feeling that my MIL would think I'm overreacting, and maybe I am. But this man ruins Christmas for me every year. I hate how upset and how stressed I feel every time I hear his voice.

A. Tell my inlaws we won't be coming for Christmas as long as Chester the molester shows up. But not coming for Christmas Eve, means we aren't coming for Christmas.

B. Do not allow him to hug me or kiss me on my cheek (he tries). Loudly yell if he gets too close. But it's a small party of less than 15 people. Because I only see this man on big celebrations like Christmas or a family wedding, I feel like I can't speak up because I don't want to ruin someone else's wedding or holiday. If it happened in a bar, I have no trouble telling men no. [/quote]

OP, this has gone on for far too long. You NEED to tell him to stop. The older people in the party might be shocked and upset, but your comfort comes before theirs, it's that simple. You're an adult and can deal with the fall-out - I promise it won't be bad.

You can call the hosts beforehand to warn them that you will make a scene if he touches you.
You can call HIM beforehand to tell him not to touch you.
You can send a group email to all the guests warning them that he has been touching women for years and this is the year you can't bear any more.

Whatever you do, however you want to handle this, is JUSTIFIED. Please let this sink in.

And please don't blame his wife. Partners are NOT responsible for the behaviors of their spouse, ever. I have a husband with a mental disorder he refuses to treat, and I cannot be made responsible for his actions (don't worry, it's not sexual! He has severe ADHD and is chronically late for everything, misses important deadlines and has anger issues. I can't physically force a pill in his mouth, or drag him to a therapist, you see what I mean?).
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