Reply to Refusal to change your last name makes me question your committment!!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kept my name and it was never an issue with dh.  However, I think women should do what they're comfortable with and I have no problem with women changing their names.  But whether this is something you can do in order to avoid a conflict and still be happy down the road is something I can't really determine since I don't know you.  But I will say this.  There are times when marriage is hard - especially in that period where you have small children and new careers and limited income.  (Been there.  Done that.) At times like that having shared values is really important in keeping you together.  I wonder if he is the right one for you.

Good luck in sorting this out, OP!  Let us know how it works out![/quote]

I totally agree with the above.

I'm the opposite, though - I changed my name.  [b]However, I had always hated my maiden name, and my DH has an AWESOME last name. [/b] It's cool, it's strong, it's simple, and not very common.  Seriously, people comment regularly on what an awesome last name it is.  :lol:

I think it's very telling that when the rubber hits the road, your fiance now has a problem with something you told him from the beginning.  Either he wasn't honest in the beginning about his feelings, or he is looking for an out.  I agree with the couples counseling to suss out which it is.

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My DH jokes that I took his last name because it was shorter and a "step up" and I don't deny it.  Let's be honest on an anonymous message board that there are some last names that take true love to take on.

In all seriousness to OP, definitely go to pre-marital counseling to talk this out.  It's hard to say if he is getting cold feet and using this as an out, if this is his MO to say things are cool and then go "this is my way or the highway", if this is a pre-cursor to traditional values about domestic duties and child rearing etc.  I am also curious about how old you and your fiancé are and if there was a specific reason you guys waited 4 years to get engaged I.e. You were finishing school, really young, not ready for marriage etc.

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