Reply to Feedback on letter to my siblings re helping out with elderly mom

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[quote=Anonymous]Just a note of encouragement.  My mom was in the situation of doing everything for my grandmother who had alzheimer's.  Her two brothers were doing very little and it was very, very stressful to my mom (I still think it took years off her life...).  She told her brothers that they needed to all meet in person to discuss what needed to happen to care for my grandmother (in a very "let's figure this out together" way).

I must say they *completely* rose to the occasion and came up with ideas that my mom never would have proposed.  For example, they knew she needed to be somewhere with a memory care unit and my mom had only researched places near her.  Instead my uncle suggested a place near him as he felt he was better with small amounts of time more frequently vs. having to travel whereas my mom was better to travel and spend several days/ weeks at a time but then be able to step away and go home as it was so emotional and all-consuming for her.  My uncle ended up stopping by to see his mom every single day to have coffee on his way to work.  And whenever my mom got away on a trip, etc., my other uncle would make sure he was available for longer support.

These solutions never would have come up if my mom had just demanded that they do x, y or z.  And it really ended up strengthening their relationships.

Good luck - family dynamics can be hard but I hope you can have a good outcome like my mom did (and she was very nervous to propose the original conversation).[/quote]

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