Reply to Feeling slight guilt by the marrying white trend

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Feeling slight guilt by the marrying white trend"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an Indian woman and I find it slightly embarrassing that myself, my sister and our 3 close friends have all always exclusively dated and wound up marrying white preppy men.

Yes of course if you ask us why, we'll say, " love is color blind!" But somehow I can't help but wonder at the underlying self-racism that must be deeply seated in each of our psyche. It's not like we were all born here. We each immigrated to the U.S when old enough to know our roots and culture. I am very happy in my relationship and so are the rest of the women I reference, but sometimes I look at photographs of the pairs of us and cringe.[/quote]
One possibility is that you are sad to lose the chance to bring up your kids the way you were brought up, to have an Indian home with unspoken understanding of customs, rituals, important dates, the way things ought to be done. [b] Don't underestimate how important that is. [/b] Identity is a funny thing, it evolves throughout your life when you immigrate, especially as an adult.  Children, in particular, often make you reassess how important your culture is to you.  [/quote]

Oh please go away.Many Indian couples are from different Indian states and cultures unless they had an arranged marriage from the same caste)which is really cringeworthy in this day and age).She can incorporate what she wants and needs as long as she chose a white guy who respects her culture.[/quote]

You can't make anyone go away unless you're Jeff.

You can't understand this if you're an American born to an American family in America, where everyone around you is just like you, and where your culture is a dominant one.[/quote]
DP... I'm Asian, born to immigrant Asian parents, immigrant myself. Grew up surrounded by people "like me".  So, I do understand what you are saying.  However, I really think you are projecting here. If being surrounded by what is familiar to you is what you want, then certainly you are free to do so. But don't think that this is what everyone wants or needs.

I felt stifled being surrounded by everyone who was the same, went down the same path, married the same kinds of people.     I don't want everyone around me to be like me.  I like variety. It's the spice of life. It's part of why I was attracted to my European DH who also feels the same, btw.  We love exploring different cultures, ethnic foods, travelling, and we love exposing our children to it as well.  My biracial kids are doing great in a very diverse part of DC.  I love that they are exposed to so many different cultures, people, foods. I wish I had grown up this way.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics