Reply to How would you react if your date left to go help/comfort his ex?

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Reply to "How would you react if your date left to go help/comfort his ex?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't feel rejected. Someone who was getting physically beat up called him for help. Of course he should go help, geez.

With that being said, I wouldn't want to be a part of that whole scene, so I would peace out.[/quote]

She should be calling 911.[/quote]

Who says she didn't? If I'd just been beaten up, I'd certainly call 911 and someone I loved. [/quote]

Well that's kind of the point. If her ex is the "someone she loved" and calls in a crisis, that's major baggage for OP to deal with. [/quote]

What makes it major baggage? Would you feel this way if it was the guy's sister calling in the same situation? Or is it just the fact that it's an ex-girlfriend that makes it major baggage?[/quote]

At risk of sounding callous, if it were his sister (really anyone he is close with) I would walk away. My Father used to say, "when you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas". There's no way to have a nice relationship with someone so invested in others' dysfunction. I see it as a red flag that he has too much drama that will eventually affect my life. No thanks![/quote]

Well, you're right that you do sound callous. And ignorant. I really hope no one close to you ever has some kind of significant trauma, because I imagine they would be sorely let down by you.[/quote]

Yeah, I get that a lot. If someone I'm already close to had a significant trauma, I'd be there for them. I would not, however, get involved with someone who walks in the door with drama. I was in an abusive relationship and I understand my role in it. I avoided getting involved with anyone until I was sure it was over. I went through therapy to figure out how I ended up in that position and how to change what caused me to accept it. I have had to harden myself to make sure I'm never drawn into a bad situation again. I think that's why I come off as callous and that's ok with me.[/quote]

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