Reply to alright -- tell me if i'm right to be upset here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound jealous of her $200k HHI and the fact that she's getting her PhD.  Are you a SAHM? [/quote]

LOL -- ok, first of all, your post insults SAHMs. second of all, i'm not a SAHM. my husband and i have a HHI of $350,000. we just got back from a 2.5 week European vacation.

i am not jealous of her PhD in the humanities. [/quote]

Obviously, your sister, on some level, realizes you are a complete, utter bitch and is getting distance from you. Because your disdain is crazy obvious.

We can close the thread now, lol.[/quote]

How am I a complete, utter bitch by telling the truth when someone asks me an insulting question?[/quote]

DP, curious why you found a question about whether you're a SAHM offensive. Is there something wrong with being a SAHM?[/quote]

Because it came as part of a question asking whether i'm jealous of a certain income and academic achievement. It implicitly assumes that a SAHM would be some person who sits there and is jealous of others who are out there accomplishing things. I found the question insulting precisely because I don't think there's anything wrong with being a SAHM.

The reason I have these expectations of my sister is because in my family, it is a given that we go to one another's graduations, birthday parties, etc. I recognize that this isn't the case for everyone, but it is the case for my family. As a result, her decision to not attend my family's events [b](while making it clear she expects me to attend her events[/b]) is anomalous. [/quote]

How does she make it clear she expects you to attend her events? If she does, then I think she is being unreasonable and also is not being fair by not attending similar events for you.

However, the question is what can you do about it. You can't make her change. What you can do is stop expecting her to be different than she is. Yes it may be disappointing, but it will be better if you can accept that and stop feeling surprised when she doesn't ask you about your life, and doesn't travel to attend your events. You can decide whether that also means you want to talk to her less and not travel to her events.

I suppose you could try, once, saying "Larla, I am hurt that you aren't going to make it to X since I am making a big effort to go to your Y." But I don't think I would do that, because what would it really accomplish? Guilt her into attending something that she doesn't really want to be at? Would you really feel better about the relationship then? [/quote]

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